What is the point of suffering and loss?

“If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world.” ― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

In the Book of Job, we read about a man who was a faithful servant of the Most High. But God allowed immense tragedy to strike him and his family. Job loved God, he served Him faithfully, and he made sure his family followed God as well.

Despite all this, God allowed Job to go through a progression of the most horrific tragedies one could imagine. Job went bankrupt, lost his family, and then became dreadfully sick. But the Bible says that God knew Job would stay faithful. And while he said many things throughout his ordeal, “Blessed be the name of the Lord” would be the words that he used to give God glory in the midst of his suffering. And in the end, Job never sinned or turned against God in these circumstances.

As you read these tragedies play out in Job’s life, you realize that God wasn’t picking on Job. He wasn’t even mad at Job. No, something deeper and more significant was at play here - God deemed Job worthy of immense earthly suffering that would result in God being glorified. Job had received what is likely the most intense and important calling to ever be placed on a believer - the calling to persevere through suffering.

A family that has been in our orbit suffered a catastrophic loss yesterday. One of their 9 children came home from their honeymoon last year and found out they had a serious disease. Fast forward one year of praying, hoping and faithfully leaning on Jesus, and their son has died just days after celebrating his one-year wedding anniversary.

Like Job, this family loves Jesus. They do Christian ministry in a wide variety of ways in our community. They serve our God faithfully. And yet, today they are grappling with a loss that for many is simply unimaginable.

When my wife and I think about them, we can’t help but get emotional. For starters, we feel the natural human response of feeling terrible for their situation and the anguish they are going through, but also, for me at least, it forces me to reflect on the reality of my own son’s medical condition and the lack of clarity we have about his future.

But, keeping Job in mind, there’s also something else at play here – a realization I have come to while processing my own cancer diagnosis along with my own son’s illness. The realization is this:

The most significant opportunity most Christians will have to showcase the authenticity of their faith is when they are suffering.

What do I mean? I mean that while you and I are going through hard times, the world is watching us.

And they are waiting to see if our faith is real.

How we respond to suffering and grief can either affirm the validity of our faith to those around us or it can uncover a subtle loyalty to this physical world that leaves our faith and their propensity to adopt it in shambles.

Does your faith impact how you respond to grief and suffering?

I would strongly suggest that it should. In fact, I would argue that there is no greater opportunity to put the power of Jesus on display than when anything and everything that matters in this world and to this world is being ripped from your fingertips.

How can God allow suffering? This is a popular question among unbelievers. And it is probably particularly pressing to them when they observe someone they perceive to be loyal to Jesus going through extreme tragedy. But the reality is that suffering and grief are tools God often uses to both bring you closer to Jesus and bring those around you to Jesus as well.

I’ll acknowledge that this sounds sadistic at first glance. After all, what kind of flawed design would require our suffering to bring God glory? However, it only sounds that way if the level of suffering one could endure in this world could somehow outweigh the suffering of walking through this world and missing Jesus. After all, for God to seem gracious, wouldn’t a lack of corrective pain here have to result in greater pain later? I’ll use a personal example to illustrate:

My youngest son has bravely endured very painful injections (fancy word for shots) every single month for the last two years or more. And early on, I had to hold him down as he thrashed and screamed trying to avoid this injection. The doctors would wait expectantly as I would go so far as to rest my body on top of my son to subdue him. It was painful, traumatizing and heart-wrenching. It felt very much like suffering. And I, his father, was the one putting him through it.

You see, my son, who was three when he started getting these shots, couldn’t possibly comprehend how this pain I was allowing him to endure could be good for him. He could have blamed me for the pain. He could have hated me for making him go through it. He could have resented me for the dozens of times I held him down as he pleaded with me to make the pain stop. But as his father, I would whisper in his ear that I had him. That I loved him. That the pain would just be for a moment, but it would save his life. And I would sometimes keep my face turned from the nurse so she couldn’t see my tears as I forced my son to do this painful thing that was keeping a tumor from destroying him.

When we experience pain in this world, it can feel overwhelming. It can feel permanent. It can especially feel pointless. But my friend, nothing on this earth is permanent and pain and suffering are reminders that this world will ultimately disappoint us. This world will fail to live up to expectations. Like CS Lewis said – this world will never satisfy the achings of a heart that was made to commune with the supernatural.

I believe there is no greater example of living out the gospel than a Christian who shows through their suffering and grief that they are unincumbered by the trappings of this life. I also believe there is nothing more perplexing to an unbeliever than watching this play out. The most significant way Christians can and should distinguish themselves from the rest of the world is our response to suffering and loss.  

This is not to say that we should be or can be unaffected. This is a ridiculous proposition, and I am in no way suggesting that. Even Jesus cried when Lazarus died, and He knew He was about to hit the undo button! Sadness and grief are completely natural emotions that are inextricably connected to the human existence. Even Job progressed through a wide variety of emotions throughout his ordeal.

What I am suggesting is that God may use suffering and grief to loosen our grip on the things of this earth. Like Rich Mullins said, “stuff of earth competes for the allegiance I owe only to the giver of all good things.” We all carry with us a lingering pull to live as if this world is all there is. The enemy has already blinded most nonbelievers in this way as it eliminates the very consideration that supernatural beings exist. But he also to some degree can persuade Christians to put so much focus on the things of this earth that they live as if the next world is less important by comparison. To put it simply, many of us are more attached to this world than we are to Jesus. If loss in this world causes us to distance ourselves from Jesus or question His goodness, what does that say about our allegiance?

The truth is Jesus does not shield us from every heartache or disappointment or tragedy on this planet. In fact, He will often allow us to endure these things for the express purpose of giving Him glory and showcasing the truth of the gospel in our lives.

None of this means we’ll be unaffected by our pain and suffering. Just the opposite. We will prove in those moments if we really believe what the Bible says about our temporary sufferings producing for us an eternal glory that is greater than anything we can imagine (2 Corinthians 4:17). The challenge isn’t to reduce the impact of suffering, but rather where it leads us. Does it lead us to Jesus or not? Do is it intensify our longing for another world or not? Does suffering rattle our faith or does our faith in suffering rattle the prince of this world?

In Genesis, we read about how Abraham was asked to sacrifice his own son. We all know that God ultimately provided an alternative for him, but the point is he was willing to let go of his own son to bring glory to God. God will not always ask you to let go of something you love, but he will ask every one of us to be willing to let go of anything and everything we love on this earth if it will serve His purposes. This is the definition of loyalty to God in a fallen world. You cannot be all-in on Jesus with one foot in the world. You cannot serve two masters. And part of our sanctification involves a process of detachment from earthly things to replace them with a supernatural focus on Jesus and how he has called his followers to live in this world. 

The story of Abraham and Isaac is a story that hits home for me as I have had to reach a point where I have loosened my earthly grip on my own son by acknowledging that his existence will stretch far beyond this life. I type this so easily, but this is not easy. I wrestled with this quite a bit. Everything in me wants to keep him here as long as possible. If my son died while I had that earthly mindset, I would be devasted to the point that unbelievers would wonder if I even really trusted in a world to come.

But this crisis of faith in tragedy happens to even very solid Christians. And I am no better than any other Christian in this regard, but, overt time, I have come to a similar place as TobyMac who, when his son died, said this:

We don’t follow God because we have some sort of under the table deal with Him,

like we’ll follow you if you bless us.

We follow God because we love Him. It’s our honor.He is the God of the hills and the valleys.And He is beautiful above all things.

-TobyMac

Christians are so susceptible to hoping in this world and labeling it faith in Jesus. This is the sort of faith that is easy to have when times are good.

When your family is healthy.

When your career is thriving.

When there is money in the bank.

How we respond to suffering and loss can uncover a subtle loyalty to this physical world that keeps us from fully embracing the mission that Jesus has called us to as Christians.

What would you be willing to give up for Jesus to be glorified? This is not emotional detachment from the physical. No, this is such a radical attachment to Jesus that absolutely everything in this world pales in comparison to bringing glory to Him.

Back to Abraham and Isaac: Many years later, Jesus would walk up that same mountain that Isaac did. Like Isaac, he would be carrying wood strapped to his back. This wood was meant for a sacrifice. But on this day, it wasn’t just a dress rehearsal. There would be no substitute because Jesus was the substitute. God may have spared Isaac, but on this day, the God of the Universe did not spare His own son. And for His part, Jesus did not cling to the temporary pleasures of a physical world but instead faithfully endured every kind of pain and suffering to give us access to the next world. Eternity with God.

In his darkest moments, the eyes of the world were on Him. And the eyes of one man in particular – a thief who had a front row seat to the suffering of Jesus. His response to watching Jesus’ faithfulness in suffering was to believe the gospel. And God was glorified.

What if Your blessings come through raindrops? What if Your healing comes through tears?

What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near?

What if my greatest disappointments Or the aching of this life

Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy?

What if trials of this life - The rain, the storms, the hardest nights - Are Your mercies in disguise?

– Laura Story